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Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Landlords should always choose the nun

Always choose the nun: why sympathy gets you nowhere when choosing a tenant
Courtesy of missmonet at Creative Commons

‘Head over heart’ and ‘treat it like a business’ are among the golden rules an experienced landlord never forgets. But when choosing a tenant for one of my first properties I let my softer side rule, and I’m still paying the price.

Three tenants were in the running for my newly acquired ex-council property, bright as a new pin after weeks of hard labour removing wood cladding from the lounge, dog hair from every surface (past owner must have owned a very sticky dog that liked rubbing up against walls) and building a high fence to disguise the ‘stable’ in the neighbour’s (tiny) back garden; don’t ask – the north east’s very popular with travellers.

Candidate #1 – ‘Mary’ – the quiet and adorable pensioner who ‘used to be a nun’

Candidate #2 – ‘Jordan’ – young single mother whose mum lives next door. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer but life had been hard on her and she looked like she needed a leg-up

Candidate #3 – ‘Pauline’ – listed her last job as ‘never had one’ on her application form. Very loud kids but desperate for a house as hers was ‘riddled with damp’ and the landlord didn’t seem to care

Faced with these three choices, all whose references checked out...or as much as they can do when none are employed so you can’t speak to an employer, which would you choose?

I went for #2. I sympathised and thought she could do with a stroke of luck. With her mother next door to help look after her toddler, I thought she’d never want to leave and was looking forward to a nice, low-maintenance tenancy. Big mistake.

Rent is late 99% of the time. And every time you ask her why it’s late, it’s just like the first time you’ve ever had the conversation: “Rent? I have to pay rent?!”. Sigh.

Her lack of budgeting skills just rub salt in the wound. You go round to collect the rent and find she’s bought a new plasma TV / a budgie / a giant trampoline “it was on special offer in ASDA”, but can’t afford the rent this week. Of course she can’t. Budgies take priority. Double sigh

I called her about some arbitrary matter and she mentions in passing that the shed was broken into last month and they smashed the gate, a 10-foot tree has been blown down in the back garden (onto the giant trampoline), her washer doesn’t work and the sink’s blocked. Didn’t think to tell me about any of this at the time? Course not. Triple sigh. 

So the next time sympathy creeps in when I’m deciding on a future tenant, I’ll remember ‘Jordan’ and remind myself to go with head over heart every time. Wonder if I’ve still got that nun’s number...


Alison Doering is a north east landlord who caught the BTL bug three years ago and has never looked back. Going from zero to six properties in three years and juggling a high pressure job in marketing means every day is a school day; there’s always something new to lock away in that mental filing cabinet marked “Never do that again!”
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